It is easy to make a decision to do something. But it takes determination and persistence to actually start doing it and commit to doing it. Deciding to raise my kids bilingual in Chinese and English was a decision I made even before I was pregnant with my eldest daughter, Mulan (nickname). I knew it is a gift that I want to give my children, and the way I envisioned it to work was this: I will only speak to them in Chinese (Cantonese to be specific) and our common language within the family will be English since my husband does not speak Cantonese.
Mulan started attending Preschool at 2.5 and she loved it. We were also excited that she got to play with other kids on a regular basis. But just like many mixed-race and mixed language families in the States who want to pass their heritage language to their children, Mulan started speaking primarily in English. I was not unaware of this being a “byproduct” of Preschool. Many parents of similar background have shared that. But I could not help but getting discouraged. I know it is not about me. It is her choice to learn another language and she needs to have her own “why” for doing so. But until she decides for herself, I feel that I will regret it if I don’t even try to make more effort to teach her. But that feeling did not result in any drastic change in my approach. We were expecting her little brother, Mushu (nickname), to arrive in a few months so I had no capacity to try anything new. I was still doing the same activities and hoping that she would somehow be more open to learning Chinese. Of course, it did not happen!
My last straw was one failed evening video chat with my parents. My non-English speaking parents spoke loudly across the phone “what did you say (你講咩話）?” And Mulan almost yelled back “I want to see your teeth!” She wanted to see my mom’s teeth because she knew that 婆婆 (grandma in Cantonese) had a dentist appointment and she wanted to make sure her teeth were “fixed.” The conversation was chaotic even with me jumping in as to translate. Everybody was frustrated. Mulan knew she wasn’t being understood so she took off and went to her toys. It breaks my heart to see that they are not able to make deeper connection with each other due to their language barrier. She loves her 公公 and 婆婆 (grandpa and grandma). This was the night that I realized it is time to pivot.
I realized that I need to be more intentional in teaching her as long as she allows me to. Therefore, I decided to find ways to incorporate more language-learning opportunities based on her interests. I create materials to help reach our learning objectives and I surprisingly find myself enjoying it! I think it will also be a good idea to share what we do at home so I created Little Pioneers to share and reflect on our bilingual education journey. It’s a long road ahead, but I look forward to seeing what we can accomplish as a family!
